bah life sucks.......

hey guys. sry about the previous comment. that wasn't a serious thing really. i was just really aggravated from the day. it totally sucked i kinda don't want to talk about it idk... i guess you can ask me sunday if you really desire to know. well actually forget that... ok so my mom was in a REALLY bad mood on uhhhhh.......... monday morning. yeah. and so she was calling me an idiot since i wasn't wanting to go in early and ask a teacher about an assignment........and i got really really mad and wasn't exactly trying to contain my temper. so then she's telling everyone else in her loudest voice possible, i yell at her that i can hear her, she yells back that she doesn't care, and then i lose it all. ok so then i jump off my bed and throw open the door and scream as loud as possible, "then why did you f***in have me?!?!?!" and i am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO ashamed that i ever did that and it totally kills my day when people mention it because i'm so stupid and i was acting so stupid and AGH. so then i'm at school i tell the worst possible person that i should have told and she of course tells EVERYONE that i hang out with..i.e. the rebellious goth/punk/cusser kids who KNOW that i'm a Christian and hate it when THEY cuss so you can just imagine how good of a stinkin example i'm setting and how much of a hypocrite i look like now. i almost cried at lunch because they were all making a big deal out of it and treating it like a good thing...yeah so please don't remind me of this on sunday a lot because then i might actually cry and you really wouldn't want to see that. ok
sooooooo then i'm at home and i was talking to .........joe i think on MSN then he left so i started talking to Kaili(tyler's friend) and we got on the subject of harry potter and i was telling her why i didn't like it since it teaches u how to become a witch or wizard because it's showing you how they do all this stuff and what they learn. she took it wrong and thought i was saying that the only reason she or anyone watched was because they WANTED to become a witch or wizard. so then she totally blows up at me and i get really really depressed and then i wrote that comment on my previous blog. yeah
................now you have the story...it doesn't really make me feel all that much better because satan keeps telling me that i'm the worst person ever and that i'm such a hypocrite and etc. and honestly guys....that's seriously what i feel like right now. so if you guys want to please pray for me. don't just say you will if you want to make me feel good. i really need actual prayer.. i know it.....